On Binging

“You can’t just watch an entire TV show in one sitting.”

“I’ve done it before. Remember Game of Thrones? Never underestimate my ability to binge.”

“I remember, and I would never, for it is legendary, but let me rephrase: while you’re certainly able to watch a dozen consecutive hours of media, you shouldn’t.”

“And why not? I have an important presentation due in two days.”

“Well, it seems to me you just volunteered a very good reason.”

“How so?”

“Do you not have to prepare for this important presentation?”

“Verily.”

“So… shouldn’t you stop your binging to do that?”

“Oh! I understand your confusion. No, that is where you misunderstand, my dear.”

“You’ll have to elaborate.”

“Quite simple, really. The more time I have until a deadline, the more relaxed I am, and thus the more likely I am to be distracted by my hobbies. I am simply being proactive in my indulgences, and finding them all the sweeter for I know I must soon stop.”

“Soon?”

“…Soonish.”

“Sounds like good old-fashioned procrastination to me. Do you not risk missing the deadline?”

“No. To the contrary, the closer I am to the deadline, the faster I work. I will do in two hours what would have taken me twenty.”

“Productivity fueled by desperation.”

“Precisely.”

“Again, I should have known from the start my endeavor was hopeless. Well, if you do decide to rejoin humanity, let me know.”

“After I finish this season. Maybe.”